14 October 2012

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

I don't actually have much hardship in my life. But the thing that sticks out is the events on and around Christmas Eve 2009.

I'd been seeing her since my birthday (mid October). I'd liked her since I met her, a year or so before. We shared friends. We shared a place of work originally. We shared many interests. But I was young and eager and I gave too much of myself. She didn't want it so it went to waste. Christmas Eve was the breaking point. We tried to be friends a bit after that. But my conflicted feelings were in the way. And then she grew suspicious that I was stalking her or something. Needless to say, we don't talk anymore.

The reason it is so difficult for me is because I don't like leaving things unresolved. I don't like not being friends with a person after I've given them something of myself.  I hate that I was accused of something I'd never do. After being completely honest with her all the time, she still doubted me.

It is well behind me now, but it occasionally still makes me seethe. Sometimes I want to make things right. Talk to her. Be friends again. Other times I want to yell at her and tell her how horrible she actually is underneath the facade. But mostly I don't think about her at all. And I am happy.

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