I'm not doing very well currently.

Work has become stressful and chaotic. I try to leave that behind when I'm home, but I can't shake it. I keep thinking I missed some crucial information about an animal that will doom it, or a potential adopter. I literally get jolted awake some nights, dreading the next day's schedule. Everyone there is frayed and overworked and stressed. We feed off each other's moods and spiral further.

I haven't been able to run in months. This spring I noticed my foot hurt a bit. I self-diagnosed with tendinitis and rested to no avail. I finally went to a podiatrist in June. I was told I'd need orthotics. I sought advice from elsewhere, and started doing all sorts of strengthening exercises and stretches, and decided to rest my foot as much as possible. I was supposed to be training for a beautiful trail race, that I ended up withdrawing from. Months later it still hurts just as much. I went to another foot doctor. He also said custom orthotics were the way to go. I have, to put it bluntly, fucked up feet. It was only a matter of time before these issues became known and it's only a matter of time before I'll need surgery to correct some of it or I'll have arthritis. So I'm getting the insoles. I hope they help. I hope I can run again soon, or at least hike. Though it seems I'll need to give up my minimal footwear and barefoot ways.

Due to lack of running and sad/stress-eating, I've gained quite a bit of weight this summer. That just bums me out even more.

I know what I need to do, I just can't seem to do it.

I know I need to find another way to keep fit that doesn't stress my foot too much. I know I need to either start looking for other jobs or find ways to lower the stress level and keep it at work. I know I need to keep an eye on my diet.

It doesn't help that all my friends are struggling too.

I've found a therapist a couple months back who is helping a bit.

I don't know where I was going with this post. It feels childish. It feels bad. But it also feels good to write a bit. I sure haven't done anything of the sort for a very long time.