28 December 2012

Fandom Nostalgia

I've recently restarted communication with an old friend. This has made me remember all of the communication we'd had previously, when I first went to college. I decided to go read all those old email, because, yes, I keep all those sort of things. They made me very nostalgic. And they made me laugh a lot.

The creative emails were generally in script format (and thus not allowed on fanfiction.net). They featured Buc and I as well as a few other randoms from school. And many Lord of the Rings characters at random intervals.

We(she) made up heaps of acronyms about all sorts of things. The most memorable was for those crazy fans who know no reason. We called them RaiFs - Rabid and Insane Fangirls(and boys). They came in hordes whenever Legolas was featured and they screamed "Eeeeeeee" a lot. Lego-Lover was generally their leader. And based off another friend of ours. Example:

Lego-lover- LEGOLAS! there you are! I've been looking for you. You disappeared from my room!
Legolas: *ponders* who is this Orlando Bloom I keep hearing about. *sees a pack of hungry wolf-like teenaged girls running at him full change and books it.*
RaiF:*have not taken a breath since they have arrived and are chasing Legolas* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*pass out.*
 *we are not quite sure if it was due from the lack of air or the sight of the "insanely hot guy from lotr and pirates of the Caribbean". we pronounce Caribbean as one word, four syllables. not "care a bee in" {Buc *grumbles at this pronunciation*} *
*when the fangirls faint  a cloud of dust poofs up and everything gets quiet*
Larz: *cough*

On the matter of naming our fandom correspondence:

Larz: *really fast*: inventive imaginary friendly gathering of friends that have technically never met except in our lord of the rings infested minds?

Buc: okaaay. how about we rearrange the letters to make it easier....

Glorfindel: mitmef gitrolf tofont hi. THAT is the name of this place. *looks smug*

Not all of our guests were from Lord of the Rings. There were some Star Wars characters and some from other random fandoms.

At one point we decided we needed to write alternate or deleted scenes from LOTR.

SCENE: Bag End

Frodo: (holds the ring towards the firelight and studies it.)

Gandalf: Can you see any markings on it? (looks a bit concerned)

Frodo: No. There is none. It is quite plain, and it never shows a scratch or sign of wear.

Gandalf: Well then, look! (snatches the ring and tosses it into the fire)

Frodo: (distressed, grabs for the tongs)

Gandalf: Wait! (holds Frodo back with one hand. after a bit takes the tongs from Frodo and picks the ring up out of the fire. holds it out towards Frodo.) It is quite cool, take it!

Frodo: (receives it on his shrinking palm)

Gandalf: Hold it up! And look closely!

Frodo: (holds it up and looks closely.) I cannot read the fiery letters, Gandalf. (shows Gandalf the ring.)

Gandalf: There are few who can. The letters are Elvish, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Mordor which I will not utter here. But this in the common tongue is what is said, close enough: “insert finger here.”

SCENE: Rivendell interrogation room

Arwen: (leans on the table. forgets line…sneaks a peak at her script) What did you see?  You have the gift of foresight. What did you see?

Agent Elrond: I look into your future and I saw death. And asparagus. Slimy kind.

Arwen: But you also saw life. You saw there was a child. You saw my son. He wants me to have him!

Elrond: Oh yes… the asparagus child… That future is almost gone.

Arwen: But it is not lost. Wait. Did you just say asparagus child? You mean that cute little boy isn’t mine?

Elrond: Nothing is certain.

Arwen: Some things are certain. If I leave him now, I will regret it forever. It is time.

Elrond: Leave the asparagus child? I don’t get it.

Arwen: No, silly. Aragorn. What else did you see?

Elrond: I see dead people. And Aragorn, but he’s not dead…yet. Oh! And I even see Bruce Willis. 

SCENE: Gandalf and Pippin riding Shadowfax

Gandalf: (as they top the rise) Minas Tirith!

Pippin: It’s only a model.

Gandalf: (has a flash of future sight, you know, chaos and battle and death.) On second thought, let’s not go to Minas Tirith. It is a silly place. (wheels horse and gallops off.)

SCENE: Minas Tirith Citadel

Denethor: Can you sing Master hobbit?

Pippin: Well… yes. And dance. But we hobbits have no songs for great halls and dangerous times.

Denethor: Why should your songs not be fit for this hall? Sing master Hobbit!

Pippin: (sighs) Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows my sorrows...

Denethor: Try something with a little more bounce to it!

Pippin: There’s a lovely bunch of orcs and wargs, bum, bum, bum, standing in a row...

Denethor: bum, bum, bum... (swings his fork – wait! No, a piece of meat to the time)

Pippin: Big ones, small ones, some the size of your head! (under breath) I’d never have to do this if Aragorn were king.

Denethor: What did you say?

SCENE: Cracks of Doom

Frodo: (peers over the edge) I cannot do this thing. It is mine, my own, my precious!

Gollum: (sneaks in) NO! We wants it! Precioussss!

Frodo: You cannot have it!

Gollum: (in a deep voice) Frodo! I am your father!

Frodo: NO!!!!! (puts on the ring)


Gandalf: (performing ceremony in a very monotone and obnoxious voice) Mawage! Mawage is wot bwings us togeva today! (and so forth. Finally turns to Frodo) Have you da wing?

Frodo: (looks around, confused.) You told me to cast it into the fire!

Aragorn: (angry) Where is the ring?

(chaos erupts)


So there you have it. Thanks for joining me on my silly nostalgic journey.

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