My life has changed a lot. I used to spend a lot of time agonizing over how I might be offending God. The importance now is how I can be good to others and also to myself.
I need to redefine what I see as a sin. (This topic was brought up by my boyfriend.) I no longer see masturbation or sex as sins, obviously. Nor cursing or porn, drinking, (some) drugs, and obviously not obeying my parents. I still, of course, think that murder (of any kind- capitol punishment included), lying, cheating, adultery, stealing, assault, vainity, and (some) pride. Surely there are others.
I like to quote the book Silence by Shusaku Endo. "Sin is not what it is usually thought to be; it is not to steal and tell lies. Sin is for one man to walk brutally over the life of another and to be quite oblivious of the wounds he has left behind." So I shall work harder not to talk poorly about people who are not around to defend themselves. Or at all. And I try to think through my actions and how they affect others.
I don't want to be selfish, but I also know that there are some things I just must do regardless of what others think. The important part is considering them. As I did before I changed my name. I asked my parents if they wanted to have input. They didn't. I changed it without them.
I also think it is a sin to withhold things from people in need. That is, I think it is a sin to be rich without sharing. And that may well mean that I'm on the borderline of that sin just because I have some money in savings.
Basically, I desire to be a good person without agonizing over any sort of eternal damnation. I just want to been seen in a positive light by those around me and perhaps even more importantly, by myself.