I've been really off lately.

Sometimes that means I write more, but as you can see, this time it means I don't want to write.

I don't want to turn this into a journal blog, but I'll speak a little about my funk.

I feel very isolated. I don't talk to new people well and it seems I don't keep in good touch with old friends either. It makes me sad. Even the ones who are near are infrequent. And I dislike talking on the phone. And as much as I realize I'm not a great friend, I often wonder why it is always up to me to initiate most anything. Sometimes I want to be surprised. Invited. Spoiled. Anything but ignored.

I'm going to work on friendships. It's essential. I don't want to become a shadow to everyone but by boyfriend and my roommate.