11 August 2008

Forrest Gump, Iggy Pop and being Twelve

Life, as they say, is like a box of chocolates. But I'll draw the simile out differently. You see, life is like chocolate. And I crave chocolate. Any kind really. It is my addiction. My love. It also has the tendency to give me a stomach ache because I cannot stop eating after I've started. Life is like that. I have, like Iggy Pop, a 'lust for life.' At least I like to think so. I love to experience different aspects of life. I love to experiment. I love to go through the changes. However, it often hurts. Way more than chocolate.

As a recent graduate from a conservative Christian university, I feel as though I've been trapped in a box. There is little I can do with my degree. In fact, I haven't had a job all summer. I just sell DVDs on Half.com. This will change though.

Last week I moved out of university housing for the 5th and last time. It was actually rather painful. I spent four years of my life there. I met many good people and left behind a few great people. We always say we'll keep in touch. We still live in the same metro area. But we all know how hard it really is. Classes and jobs get in the way. The distance is further than the person down the hall, less accessible.

This summer was both the best and worst of my life for reasons I will not detail here. I'd like to say I grew up. But if that's true it happened despite a constant desire to be twelve again. Yet here I am, living in a house in Denver. I haven't had to ask my parents for anything more than a mattress. I feel like I can do this whole 'real life' thing. Perhaps I'm just cocky or high on paint fumes. But I feel confident (today) that I can get a job, pay rent, hang out with all the important people in my life, and even maybe write a little.

Tomorrow, I will probably be sobbing, wishing I was twelve, and resisting even beginning to think about starting to look for a job.

Did I mention it's weird as hell that for the first time in 16 years I'm not preparing for school to begin?


Reflections said...

Larz! Welcome to life. You are right to think that you will make it, because you will. College was a special time in my life, as well. I'm glad to say that you were a part of that. Keep it real, Sista!

Emilka said...

Larz! I was just reading my own blog, and I saw I had A Comment.
I so seldom have A Comment, that I looked to see who it was, and it was YOU!
And for what it's worth, I'm right there with you. One day I'm the slayer, the next I'm the slayee. Ugh.
We should talk soon.
Love you.