FOTR for the ... first/umpteenth time.

I’ve just finished listening to the unabridged The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time. I read the books yearly for probably 10 years starting in 2001. I have listened to the BBC dramatization several times. And I’ve obviously seen the films countless times as well as all the documentary features. I spent my high school years and most of my adult life steeped in Tolkien.

I love this version of the audiobooks. Andy Serkis narrates, and as you might imagine, he’s great at voices and accents. He also sings very well, and I love the tunes that were picked for the songs. It’s nearly like a dramatized version as well.

I think if I were to pick up LOTR right now for the first time, I might find it fairly dry. Generally I prefer sci/Fi and don’t usually gravitate towards high fantasy. It’s very binary: not very nuanced as far and good and evil. The races of beings are very delineated and rarely mix. I much prefer the gray areas, moral dilemmas, character arcs, conflict resolution.  There are definitely some parts that have not aged well as our society has progressed. Specifically  all the baddies being described as “dark”, “swarthy”, “squint-eyed” and the like.

But it’s so nostalgic, so I still love it. I’m still enthralled by the world he created. I love the languages and the history and the songs. It’s idyllic and simple, and lovely.  

And I love, love, love Tom Bombadil. The most amazing thing about Tom Bombadil is that even though he’s ancient and has seen the comings and goings of civilizations and woods and rivers, he’s still ridiculously joyful. He goes about dancing and singing and caring for the land and animals and the people who he comes across. How do I find that joy? 

 

New Year

 2023 had a couple big changes. 

I got a new job after 14 years at the animal shelter. I am now a federal employee, working admin for FEMA. It's.... fine. I like it in general, but not in specifics. 

I got married on paper. No wedding or anything, we just wanted to make sure all was legal for health insurance and next of kin stuff. Maybe someday we'll have an actual wedding. 

I also did not have surgery in 2023, which was not true of the three years prior. So that's nice. 

I don't really do resolutions, but I do like goals. Like writing more. And getting my cholesterol under control since apparently that's a thing I need to worry about now. 

I'd like to run more as well, but my body doesn't seem to really fancy that, so it will be a desire, but not a goal. We'll see what happens.

Fourth Wing

Uhh, this book maybe wasn't for me. 

I enjoy some fantasy (though I prefer sci/fi). I'm not against romance/erotica, but most of this made me eyeroll. A lot. 

The plot and storyline were okay, but the world was not well fleshed out. Not very believable. Yarros would often describe a rule or tradition that could not be questioned and immediately break it. There seemed to be a huge amount of needless death for a country at war, one who ostensibly needs soldiers to fight enemies. I understand it being very competitive, but maybe instead of killing off everyone who can't make the cut as a rider, just reassign them? It was hard to suspend the disbelief. 

I also feel there was a lot of ideas and world building borrowed from other authors. Some was a bit too blatant. Mostly this was sexy Dragonriders of Pern. 

I didn't mind the use of first person or present-day language and slang that some reviewers had a problem with. 

I did appreciate the disability representation. How hard it was for Violet to do the very physical things requited of her. I appreciated the inclusion of LGBTQ+ characters. I also liked the author's characterization of a young person who is smart, but also neive (though that occasionally warranted an eyeroll as well.)

Final thoughts: very long. A bit cringey. Not my favorite, and I won't be reading more of the series. However, if you like fantasy/romance (which is a legit genre), this might be worth the read.

 I wish to write more this year. Nothing specific, just in general. One thing to help me get started will be a monthly book report/review. I think I can handle that. 

So, uh, welcome back if anyone is still subscribed. I'll be around.

2020 rundown

What a year, right? Somehow I thought being in various states of lockdown would urge me to write some of my feelings. But I think I was too busy being stressed and playing video games to even go there. 

Work is the same as ever. We stopped transfers for a couple of months early on in the pandemic until we were able to open back up for surgeries and adoptions. When my job was moot, I helped out in admissions. There were as many animals as ever coming into the shelter. People losing homes or income. Strays. Same story. 

Last month I got rotator cuff repair surgery. That's put a huge damper on what I can actually do at work. Which is nothing. I can do some data entry and emailing and the like. No driving until the sling is off (6 weeks total). No animal handling. It's not a lot of fun. Especially since I'm also training a new co-worker and it's hard to tell her things I cannot show her. 

Oddly the silver lining of both the pandemic and the surgery is that my boyfriend didn't go to Thanksgiving with his family and I didn't work. We've just celebrated ten years together (mostly). And now we've just spent our very first Thanksgiving together. It was lovely. We roasted a whole turkey for the first time and it turned out well. Of course the best part is all the leftovers we're still enjoying. 

Due to pandemic restrictions on travel, we didn't leave the state this year, but we did go backpacking sever times. Saw some bears and other woodland creatures. Perfected packing for 3 nights. Ate food that only tastes good after hiking for hours with 30+ lbs on your back. 

So yeah, the year has been full of uncertainty, chaos and sadness, but there have been a few bright spots and that's what keeps us going. 

Up Schitt's Creek

It's been a long time since I've had this level of obsession for a show/movie/book etc. It used to happen to me all the time. I think it tapered off about 10 years ago, but I've found something new.

I'd been told to watch Schitt's Creek a couple time over the past few years it's been out. I've seen/heard it mentioned on Facebook on occasion. I looked at the premise and didn't think it sounded super interesting. I knew who Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara were, but *shrug*.

And then I started watching and it took exactly two episodes before I was hooked. Lots of shows take much longer than that. Sometimes when I recommend shows, I tell people to skip the whole first season. Not so with this one. It's delightfully funny! Not generally raunchy, and not cheap laughs. Very witty and quick dialogue. There are definitely some (purposefully) cringey moments of situational humor that just makes you want to crawl out of your skin in embarrassment for the character - but they are not the main fare.

The show starts off setting the stage, a family of former billionaires, now penniless living in a rundown rural motel. We get to laugh at them as they try to find their place in the town. So many other shows and movies show the dynamic flipped. We usually see the country folk coming to the big city and bumbling their way around. This change is refreshing.

All of the characters are likable. Even the annoying mayor grows on you over time. It's made very clear from the start that though the Rose's are spoiled and generally selfish, they are not bad people. It wasn't their fault they lost their wealth. The focus becomes the family dynamic and growing their relationships with each other.

Dan Levy, one of the stars and also the show-runner and writer, producer etc, also made a point to normalize queer relationships. His character is originally thought to be gay. Early on, this assumption is challenged and he is revealed to be pansexual. The town is incredibly accepting of his queerness and the creators made a deliberate choice not to allow homophobia to exist in the show. It's really a beautiful thing, especially later in the series.

I think this is the main reason I am so enthralled with the show. It's a basic sitcom. It's hysterical. The characters are compelling. And everything feels real and authentic and beautiful. And being queer is so okay, that it's barely even discussed.

My boyfriend is like a 12 year old when it comes to romance on TV and in movies. He groans and mutters and complains about romantic tension and kissing etc. He did not react that way to this show. To the queer relationships portrayed within. He was giddy with excitement. It's a great thing for us to share. It's lovely and important.

Nearly every other piece of media portraying LGBTQIA+ love is either tragic or a coming out story. I think both have a place, and have some importance, but I think we need to move past that. This show helps in such a huge way.

As I said, it's been a long time since I've had such a deep obsession for a piece of media. I think the last one was Firefly back in college. I was on message boards and I read and wrote heaps of fanfiction about it. Schitt's Creek is like that again, but more personal. I have what feels like a crush on the show itself if not at least one character within it. It's a strange feeling. It makes me want to write again, though I'm afraid to, as I've historically been bad at dialogue and comedy and that's the whole show.

Anyhow, I've kept this as spoiler-free as possible, to hopefully entice anyone who may ready my blog to go watch it immediately and then come talk to me about it because I'm dying to discuss it at length with anyone and everyone.

I'm not doing very well currently.

Work has become stressful and chaotic. I try to leave that behind when I'm home, but I can't shake it. I keep thinking I missed some crucial information about an animal that will doom it, or a potential adopter. I literally get jolted awake some nights, dreading the next day's schedule. Everyone there is frayed and overworked and stressed. We feed off each other's moods and spiral further.

I haven't been able to run in months. This spring I noticed my foot hurt a bit. I self-diagnosed with tendinitis and rested to no avail. I finally went to a podiatrist in June. I was told I'd need orthotics. I sought advice from elsewhere, and started doing all sorts of strengthening exercises and stretches, and decided to rest my foot as much as possible. I was supposed to be training for a beautiful trail race, that I ended up withdrawing from. Months later it still hurts just as much. I went to another foot doctor. He also said custom orthotics were the way to go. I have, to put it bluntly, fucked up feet. It was only a matter of time before these issues became known and it's only a matter of time before I'll need surgery to correct some of it or I'll have arthritis. So I'm getting the insoles. I hope they help. I hope I can run again soon, or at least hike. Though it seems I'll need to give up my minimal footwear and barefoot ways.

Due to lack of running and sad/stress-eating, I've gained quite a bit of weight this summer. That just bums me out even more.

I know what I need to do, I just can't seem to do it.

I know I need to find another way to keep fit that doesn't stress my foot too much. I know I need to either start looking for other jobs or find ways to lower the stress level and keep it at work. I know I need to keep an eye on my diet.

It doesn't help that all my friends are struggling too.

I've found a therapist a couple months back who is helping a bit.

I don't know where I was going with this post. It feels childish. It feels bad. But it also feels good to write a bit. I sure haven't done anything of the sort for a very long time.

When shelter work is not all fun and games:

There is real danger in the “no kill” shelter movement/ideology. This week, I have personally observed how horribly it can go wrong.

I believe it comes from a place of caring. Save every animal. It seems so straight forward. But it’s never that simple. The “no kill” movement requires a 90% live release rate. That is, 90% of animals taken in, must go out. They generally allow for euthanasia for serious medical cases. Everything is more complicated when arbitrary numbers and quotas are involved.

Last year, the residents Pueblo Colorado voted for a law requiring that the city/county municipal shelter follow “no kill” doctrine. A local no kill rescue significantly underbid the open admission organization that ran the shelter. (Open admission shelters take anything and everything that come to the doors. The “alternative” to "no kill.")

As this was happening, I was worried about how the shelter would be run, as my shelter has always had a good relationship with the former contract-holders. I worried that the rescue did not know what they were getting into and that the “no kill” legislation wouldn’t work for a municipal shelter.

Turns out that my worry was well-founded. PACFA, the regulatory body for shelters, recently released a report about the conditions of the shelter in Pueblo. It was deplorable. No fewer than 14 animals died in their facility since they opened their doors on January 2^nd. Numerous animals were not receiving proper medical care, to include a dog that was hit by a car. Animals were housed in kennels too small for their size.

Basically, the “no kill” shelter was allowing animals to suffer and die. This does not seem like compassion to me. This smacks of ego. Or, at best, sheer incompetence.  

Today I woke up at 3am and drove a large vehicle to Pueblo to get some animals out and to medical care at our facility in Denver. Even then, we got some push-back from other “no kill” organizations. They wanted to “save” the remaining animals from us. Interestingly enough, they left the animals in the worst conditions or with the least likely adoptable outcome. I am confused about that logic. We will treat them to the best of our rather extensive ability. We will work with any behavior issues that are present or may arise. Most of all, we will approach them with compassion and treat them humanely whatever their outcome may be. 

We don’t like to harp on it because it really is just an arbitrary number, but the Dumb Friends League meets the requirements set by the “no kill’ movement in Colorado. We have a live release rate above 90%.

I'm left astounded at the mental gymnastics involved to think that anything is better than going to a shelter that performs euthanasia even if it involves inhumane conditions.

I’m also tired.

New Year

So, I don't do resolutions, but I do try to accomplish a couple goals each year:

Reading a certain number of books (audio counts, but I do have a separate goal for actual reading.)

Running a certain number of miles.

And that's about it, generally. In 2018, I did not meet either of these goals. Though I was only 12 miles off my running goal for the year. I was pretty sick (still am in fact) for much of December, so making up those miles wasn't in the cards. Regardless, it was way over 2017's total.

I was way off on the reading. I listen to audiobooks when I walk to work and when I drive around town delivering and picking up animals, but it's just not the same as when I was cleaning all day and could listen for 8+ hours. I'll figure out the appropriate number of books some year soon.

So I adjusted my goals for this year and so far have run 0 miles and read 0 books.

Good thing I have 11 1/2 months to work it out. Just need to get rid of this damn cough.

I've lately been reading stuff that people I know have written. Like, instead of random authors' books, I've been reading friends' books. And it's made me delve back into my "writings" folder to peek at all my attempts to write.

It's been a long time since I've written. And much, much longer since I've finished anything. But I read some of the things I started and I like them a lot. I forgot most of them and wish I had more to read, many are so compelling.

I wonder if I could finish any, or work more on any. I feel so discouraged about writing. Maybe I should look into taking a writing class at a local university or community college.

Maybe I should share some of my fragments with others and get feedback?

*shrug*