thetic \THET-ik\, adjective:

Positive; dogmatic.


His thetic understanding of the texts was less than realistic.

(I don't know if I'm using that one correctly. This hurts my head some days.)

catholicon \kuh-THOL-i-kuhn\, noun:

A universal remedy; panacea.

Though his idea may work for the student government, it isn't a catholicon for government in general. 

The Eloquent Past

I was recently looking though some old journal entries on my computer. I was very melodramatic years ago. I also wrote a lot more than I do now. I wonder if there is a correlation. Or perhaps I was just in such a place of flux that words were the only way to express anything. Now I am just sort of stagnant and I have someone to talk to most of the time.

In these old writings there is also a lot of self-loathing and self-pity. I called myself a coward a lot. And I chastised myself for never acting first. For following others’ leads.

I see patterns of yearning for change, yet fearing it. Apathy. Broken-heartedness. But even in my depressed states, I was never so far gone. I can recognize me in all of it. Nothing suicidal. Nothing foreign. Just eloquent emotions.

Anyhow, I have a few excerpts to share. Not the context, just the sentences. They struck me.

Nov 28 07

“Pain it inevitable. Humans hurt each other. Humans hurt.”

Jan 11 08

“What does emotional death look like? She wondered briefly, then didn't care, and found the answer.”

Feb 11 09

“How can we ever be sure that we chose the right option when two things are placed before us? It is not possible to know exactly what would have happened if the other option had been favored.

So we must simply live out the path we’ve chosen. We must dedicate ourselves to what we believe to be right. Sure, our opinions can waver, we can continue choosing alternatives. But we cannot go back. We must always continue, moving away from the past, both regrettable and nostalgic.

Only by moving forward can we ever hope to set things to rights. Constantly dwelling on the point of pain will not let it heal. Instead, we find ways to alleviate it at first. Then, slowly the pain will subside.

The only wrong choice is to do nothing at all, to remain stationary at the crossroads, unsure of which option is better. Or wishing desperately to return to a past crossroads and choose the other path.

Even if the wrong path is chosen, we cannot be concerned with how to get back to the other path. We must keep moving forward, to a time when more options present themselves. Then we can leave the wrong choice behind, taking with us the lesson mistakes never fail to teach.

So life is this: choosing. Living. Moving. Learning.”

Jul 2 09

“I don’t want to be a writer if I can only write depressed.”

July 2 10

“Uniqueness is the endless repeated forgery of humankind.”

austral \AW-struhl\, adjective:

1. Southern.
2. (Initial capital letter) Australian.

Mylo was totally lost. The austral stars were not the ones he know by which to navigate. 

I am slightly agoraphobic. I don't like wide open spaces. I feel safe in my mountains. However, I really need some horizon in my life.

I am becoming weary of words of the day. But I will continue. I must.

palter \PAWL-ter\, verb:

1. To talk or act insincerely or deceitfully; lie or use trickery.
2. To bargain with; haggle.
3. To act carelessly; trifle.

I tried to palter with her. But she was firm. 

privity \PRIV-i-tee\, noun:

1. Participation in the knowledge of something private or secret, especially as implying concurrence or consent.
2. Private or secret knowledge.
3. Law. The relation between privies.
4. Obsolete. Privacy.

"No, you are not allowed to have any cookies." She eyed him. "Not without my privity and possible participation anyhow." With that, the babysitter gained his full trust.  

sententious \sen-TEN-shuhs\, adjective:

1. Abounding in pithy aphorisms or maxims: a sententious book.
2. Given to excessive moralizing; self-righteous.
3. Given to or using pithy sayings or maxims: a sententious poet.
4. Of the nature of a maxim; pithy.

Jim couldn't see how the congregation could stand the sentenitous pastor.

I'm sensing another trend.

pharisaic \far-uh-SEY-ik\, adjective:

1. Practicing or advocating strict observance of external forms and ceremonies of religion or conduct without regard to the spirit; self-righteous; hypocritical.
2. Of or pertaining to the Pharisees.

 Politics is rife with pharisaic characters.

hematic \hi-MAT-ik\, adjective:

1. Of or pertaining to blood; hemic.
2. Acting on the blood, as a medicine.

noun:
1. Hematinic.

"The specimen's hematic levels of plutonium are unheard of!" She jumped back from the sample. "...and yet, the radiation doesn't break down the cells..."

strepitous \STREP-i-tuhs\, adjective:

boisterous; noisy.

In my old age I strive to keep away from strepitous parties. 

hustings \HUHS-tingz\, noun:

1. The political campaign trail.
2. (Before 1872) the temporary platform on which candidates for the British Parliament stood when nominated and from which they addressed the electors.
3. Any place from which political campaign speeches are made.
4. Also called hustings court. A local court in certain parts of Virginia.

I hate they hype and hustings leading up to elections. 

I feel a bit adrift. I should feel overwhelmed. Perhaps I should feel like I'm failing. But I really only feel apathetic. I am working for decent pay at a job that doesn't require a degree while paying off the debt from my rather useless time at university. I have kept 'the God question' on the back burner successfully for about 4 years. I'm estranged to my family, though my dad still helps me with large bills (medical, dental, car, etc.) I haven't seen my 'phew for several years. I've lost all or most of my friends from high school and college.

I'm not badly off though. I have a place to live. Plenty of food. Good newer friends to hang out with regularly. My boyfriend. Books. Video games. Internet. Movies. I'm set.

And yet...

bollix \BOL-iks\, verb:

1. To do (something) badly; bungle (often followed by up)

noun:
1. A confused bungle.

"You bollixed up the whole damn mission, Jones!" The Captain's face was so close to mine, I could feel the heat coming from it. 

"I don't see how, sir. I followed the orders." I mumbled, trying to sound sure. 

He didn't answer, just swiveled around and pointed. My jaw dropped open. 

"Bollocks..."

(Yes, I had to do the wordplay)

The book is (almost) always better

So I wrote earlier how I read The Lathe of Heaven. And how it's amazing. And added to my list of utmost favorite books.

Now I've seen the made-for-TV movies. Both of them. One from 1980 and the other from 2002. The first one was better because it followed the book. However, it had awful acting, awful effects and awful music. And it was recorded onto DVD from something else... VHS? It was very poor quality. The second had decent acting, but they screwed up the storyline rather a lot. How can you leave the aliens out? How?

Anyhow, read the book. Don't see the movies.

I'm going to use this one always.

Tartuffery \tahr-TOOF-uh-ree\, noun:

Behavior or character of a Tartuffe, especially hypocritical piety.

 The reason I do not now call myself a Christian or associate with many of them is the extreme tartuffery.

diapason \dahy-uh-PEY-zuhn\, noun:

1. A full, rich outpouring of melodious sound.
2. The compass of a voice or instrument.
3. A fixed standard of pitch.
4. Either of two principal timbres or stops of a pipe organ, one of full, majestic tone (open diapason) and the other of strong, flutelike tone (stopped diapason).
5. Any of several other organ stops.
6. A tuning fork.

The diapason of the strange instrument was neither pleasant or appalling. 

Today I started and finished another of Ursula K. LeGuin's books. I've had a stockpile from $2 Buck Books. (Sidenote, it irks me to put the "$" and "Buck".)

This one was called Very Far Away From Anywhere Else. It's one of her first books and it's very short. I don't have much to say about it other than that it reminded me a bit of Catcher in the Rye and it had several very neat quotes. LeGuin is good with quotes.

coetaneous \koh-i-TEY-nee-uhs\, adjective:

Of the same age or duration.

The planet had two coetaneous suns, providing it with an even orangey glow, not the disorienting light from suns of different ages.

I had a very enjoyable evening. I went to see Finding Nemo on 3D. I love Finding Nemo. I always have. However, that didn't stop me from having a flashback of what happened last time I watched it in theaters.

I like hanging out with friends.

I do not like waking up so early for work on Sundays. It's hellish.

Oh, here's a photo of me while I was waiting for my boyfriend as he bought a suit.

ecru \EK-roo\, adjective:

1. Very light brown in color, as raw silk, unbleached linen, etc.

noun:
1. An ecru color.

His ecru sweater momentarily gave the illusion that he wasn't wearing a shirt at all. 

a color theme

heliotrope \HEE-lee-uh-trohp\, noun:

1. A light tint of purple; reddish lavender.
2. Any hairy plant belonging to the genus Heliotropium, of the borage family, as H. arborescens, cultivated for its small, fragrant purple flowers.
3. Any of various other plants, as the valerian or the winter heliotrope.
4. Any plant that turns toward the sun.
5. Surveying. An arrangement of mirrors for reflecting sunlight from a distant point to an observation station.
6. Bloodstone.

The dead giveaway that the show wasn't filmed in Colorado was the plethora of heliotropes and other ferny underbrush. And that they said they were from "UC Boulder".

This actually happened. We were watching Supernatural and critiquing it. 

The Lathe of Heaven

I just finished reading The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. LeGuin. She's one of my favorite authors. He science fiction is always a very profound look at humanity.

I reccommend all of her books, but this one was quite something. That is not to say it's my favorite, but it's good. And it's important. And it's short.

The premise is that in the future there is a guy (George) whose dreams come to pass. A therapist takes advantage of this and suggests things for George to dream. Generally, the doctor is trying to make things better for humanity, and this changes the course of history several times.

The strongest sense I gathered from this book was Taoism. George embodies it. He wishes to not have the dreams. He wants to live in the world and not change it. He wants to simply be part of it. Taoism is rather too apatetic for me on the whole, but I like this point at least. George also insists vehemently that the ends does not justify the means. The means are what matter.

Another thing I got from the book was that many other sci-fi books and films have elements taken from this book. Whether conciously or not is debatable. Inception. The Matirx. Among others. Keep in mind, this book was published in 1971.

The book reads rather like Orwell's 1984. Not a whole lot of character development. The similar distopian theme.

I have run out of laud for the time being. I guess I should digest it a bit more and perhaps add another installment after I watch the show they made of it.

Another color

cerise \suh-REES\, noun:

moderate to deep red.

The cerise of her lipstick was embarrassingly smeared on her two front teeth. 

A tale for WOD

primrose \PRIM-rohz\, noun:

1. Pale yellow.
2. Any plant of the genus Primula, as P. vulgaris (English primrose), of Europe, having yellow flowers, or P. sinensis (Chinese primrose), of China, having flowers in a variety of colors. Compare primrose family.
3. Evening primrose.

A story for this one:

I remember summer nights long ago and far away. (Okay, not so long ago, perhaps 15 years, and only a few hundred miles west.) My mother grew a plethora of flowers and vegetables and herbs and everything else. Among them were evening primrose. I remember waiting as the twilight darkened, watching the folded yellow flowers. They would suddenly begin to uncurl and spread their petals. A lovely sweet scent would be exposed and hawk moths would begin dive-bombing them. And now I'm thinking of hawk moths and how they are the adult version of tomato worms (hornworms).. I used to help my mom rid the tomatoes of them and feed them to the chickens. They're large. And they click and flail and try to pinch and stab. *shudder*

Anyhow, I do have some nostalgia.

This one makes me think of Everything is Illuminated. It makes me smile. 

spleenful \SPLEEN-fuhl\, adjective:

1. Ill-humored; irritable or peevish; spiteful; splenetic.
2. Full of or displaying spleen.

Humid summer days make me especially spleenful. 

manifold \MAN-uh-fohld\, adjective:

1. Of many kinds; numerous and varied: manifold duties.
2. Having numerous different parts, elements, features, forms, etc.: a manifold program for social reform.

noun:
1. Something having many different parts or features.
2. A copy or facsimile, as of something written, such as is made by manifolding

verb:
1. To make copies of, as with carbon paper.

Sir Gerald surveyed the manifold army. Some would call it rag-tag, but he preferred to think that every part was strong, just widely varied.

rollick \ROL-ik\, verb:

To move or act in a carefree, frolicsome manner; behave in a free, hearty, gay, or jovial way.

Some may say parkour is just a rollick around town. And it is, but not only that, it's also a way to be fit and survive a coming apocalypse. 

Oh hey, look over here!

I spent a lot of money today. And it was not really of my own volition.

After working from 7:30 am until 8:30 pm, I went to a bar with some coworkers. I had a beer and a nice long chat with them. I didn't arrive home until nearly midnight due to the excessive chatting. And, because I live on a fairly busy street, I couldn't find parking out front. I was surprised to find some on a sidestreet and gratefully took it. I was awakened at 9:00 today by an alarm telling me I had a dental appointment at 10. So I walked down there. Shelled out (rather, swiped my card) $540 for a very tall man to poke me with needles, drill away parts of my teeth and press malleable metal into the recesses. So was poor and numbed on my walk back home. Only to find that my car door held the dreaded yellow envelope of a parking ticket. It's apparently street sweeping day on that side of that street. First time in the new place. And to ad insult to injury, er injury to insult, the envelope actually gave me a paper cut when I opened it. Fun weekend beginnings.
 

piceous \PIS-ee-uhs\, adjective:

1. Inflammable; combustible.
2. Of, pertaining to, or resembling pitch.
3. Zoology. Black or nearly black as pitch.


Out of the piceous midnight came the three pairs of glowing red eyes. 

2 words

I was helping a friend move yesterday, so the words of the day piled up. Two today. And onto my weekend.

ramose \REY-mohs\, adjective:
1. Having many branches.
2. Branching.

Under the creature's palid skin Jax could cleary see its green blood coursing through ramose veins.

cacology \ka-KOL-uh-jee\, noun:
Defectively produced speech; socially unacceptable diction.

The cacology of 'txt' speech often makes me yearn for the time when it was expensive to write, and therefore paintakingly beautiful.

ataraxia \at-uh-RAK-see-uh\, noun:
A state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety; tranquility.

Some would say that complete ataraxia is to be desired. But one look at the man in the padded room was enough to dissuade me. His blank stare proved that emotions make a person human.

vigorish \VIG-er-ish\, noun:

1. Interest paid to a moneylender, especially a usurer.
2. A charge paid on a bet, as to a bookie.

He was appalled. The vigorish was half as much as the principle. But he couldn't let his outrage show, he was borrowing from the mob after all.

word for Saturday

demulcent \dih-MUHL-suhnt\, adjective:

1. Soothing or mollifying, as a medicinal substance.

noun:
1. A demulcent substance or agent, often mucilaginous, as for soothing or protecting an irritated mucous membrane.

He groaned next to me and coughed. I got up to look in the medicine cabinet for a demulcent.