Writing has been really hard for me lately. I've been really stuck. I write little blurbs on facebook and tumblr. Bits I mean to expand on here or elsewhere, but I never end up doing it. Everything is just endless repetition. I work. I read at work. I listen to books at work. I hike on the weekends and post photos on the above-mentioned sites (/agentrusco in case you're curious.) After work I eat a mostly healthy dinner. Watch a streamed show. Maybe play a game. Play a bit of conversation. Sleep. Repeat. Endlessly.

My diet is in theory very healthy. Natural as possible, nearly no dairy or breads, lots of vegetables and fiber etc. I have no willpower though, and so I end up eating candy and then chastising myself. Because when I eat candy I don't just have a piece or a bite. I eat it all. Think I'm lying? After Christmas candy went on sale. I bought a bag of those awesome mint nougats. And ate it all in one day. And then I bought a 1 lb package of two huge peanut butter cups. And ate it all within a 24hours. I have no sense of moderation or rationing. And I apparently have no willpower to stop myself from buying such things in the first place. Then there's Fridays. On Fridays a volunteer at my work brings in doughnuts and candy and homemade baked goods. I try to resist. I really do. I avoid the room. I try not to check on what she brings each week. But inevitably I end up sampling a ginger cookie. Or a handful of candy. Or, or, or...

And I feel ill afterwards of course. One would think that would deter me from such things in the future, but never seems to. I am helplessly addicted to sugar. And unfortunately it's all around me all the time.

Anyhow, I didn't really mean for this to be about my sugar habit, but at least I'm writing.

In parting here's a photo from snowshoeing last weekend:

The Impossible

I just watched The Impossible. Literally the only reason I watched it is because of Ewan McGregor. I was miffed about it when I saw the previews and, even though it's based on a true story, I came away miffed. You see, it's about a family affected by the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. The reason I'm unhappy with it? It's about a white family. It details their struggles to survive and to reunite. There is hardly any reference to the non-white locals affected by the disaster. Several thousand people died in Thailand alone, and over 200,000 in 14 countries. The film showed dead people. It didn't gloss over the devestation, but it didn't personalize it. Because, obviously audiences can only connect with white protagonists. (/sarcasm)

The acting was very good. I'm a fan of Ewan's (obviously) and I like Naomi Watts a lot. The boy was also very good. Mostly the acting was a lot of terror and grief, but I feel that it takes particular talent to do well. And they did.

Strangely, it's a Spanish film (but is in English), I don't know if that redeems it at all. 

So yeah. I don't really have anything to say about it besides what I've said.

meteorology

I now drive a small 2 wheel drive car. I like it. It has amazing gas mileage. But it snowed. And it's a bit terrifying to drive. This is my first winter driving not-an-suv. It's not so much the lack of 4wd that scares me about driving in the snow. It's the fact that I'm now half the size I was and I feel fragile next to all the suvs zooming by me.

Another weather related note: cold often invigorates me. This cold snap hasn't so much done that though. Instead I want to eat all the snacks possible to build up a layer of fat and hibernate for a time

For my health

So I'm trying to be healthy, y'know? I'm seeing how many days I can go without added sugar/ dessert snacks. That is, I cannot eat things that are sugary just to be sugary as a snack or meal or dessert, what have you. I still take a sweet and salty granola bar to work. And I can have honey in things, though I usually don't use it for anything, I like my tea black (or green.) And fruit. But not juice. I've been drying fruit, if you haven't been keeping up. I've done raspberries, which was a new thing, and bananas which wasn't new. And just today I dried some pineapple. I'm going to have to get more while their still on sale at the queen soopers. I also made some jerky. The second batch turned out heaps better than the first. I think the quality of meat might have had something to do with it. And I found a better marinade recipe. I think that half price dehydrator has already paid itself off.

pineapple!

jerky

Along with my (mostly) healthy diet, I've been trying to get back into a more regular exercise routine. Every weekend my boyfriend and I hike, and lately it's been eight or more miles, so that's been great. And we try to trail run about 3 miles once a week. Haven't done that as regularly. And we also occasionally do a loop around the neighborhood park. Last week I did a little parkour training with a friend. Hopefully we can keep that up regularly.

Each morning for the past month or so, when I get up I do some push ups and pull ups and some core conditioning (that doesn't include sit ups or crunches!) This has generally helped my lower back pain and energized me for the day.



I am not doing the "dieting" and exercise in order to lose weight (though I am a bit soft around the middle), I am doing it to be healthy. And perhaps to one day be see my abdominal muscles, I know they are there.  I will not be weighing myself regularly and keeping count, though I did record my weigh on the 1st. It's just that I need to create more healthy habits. I want to be able to do certain things (parkour) and my lifestyle right now doesn't enable that.

So yeah, that's me being healthy. It's been one week since I've eaten candy (yes, I made it through Halloween.) Here's to many more.

The Enemy Gate is Down

This is a spoiler-filled review of the film Ender's Game. (Please note that I am not going to get into any discussion on the author, Orson Scott Card, especially related to his politics and religious beliefs.)

The film was okay. It seemed... simple, I guess. I know it'd be hard to get all the nuances of the book onto the screen, but I was bummed with how it turned out. At the same time, I was amazed at what was pulled off. As a stand alone film, it was quite engaging, or at least I assume it would be. But I've only just finished listening to the audiobooks, so the differences were disappointing to say the least.

First of all, it seemed to move too fast. The novel takes place over several years. Ender is 6 at the beginning and around 11 at the end. The film seemed to take up only about a month's worth of time. Which is really quite implausible considering the task at hand. The children had to learn not only basic school studies, but also tactical maneuvers and how to work together as a unit. I understand that it would be hard to film a kid growing up, but I also think that they may have chosen a slightly too old kid. Yes, Asa Butterfield's performance was strong, and he looks quite young. However, he was 14 or so during filming and he's quite tall, which made some of the fights seem not as momentous as in the book. In the book, fighting the bullies and winning was a big deal because he wasn't bigger than them in any way. He had to use his brain to find ways to overcome them.

Another thing I missed in the film was Peter and Valentine's deeper roles. I realize that it was unnecessary for the film to have anything to do with them, but it didn't really drive home how awful Peter was and how good Val was. How Ender wanted to be nothing like Peter in any way. And it skipped all of Peter and Val's writing to become influential on earth; which was not needed for the film, but still quite interesting, as they were just as smart as Ender, but not suited for Battle School.

I think that they used the phrase "The enemy's gate is down" in much to trite a manner. We didn't get to see how Ender reoriented the Battle Room to fit this idea. How he had his soldiers attack feet first to make smaller targets, and now none of the other Armies could figure out his tactics. It made the phrase nearly meaningless when Bean reminded Ender of it at the beginning of the final battle.

There are things I did like about the film. The performances were quite good. Asa Butterfield embodied much of the Ender I imagined as I read. He showed confidence and strength of character. He did reveal a lot more emotion in the film; but in the book, we were inside his head, reading about his anguish and lonliness. He never expressed it. It would have been impossible to portray that onscreen. Butterfield also handled an American accent quite nicely. That's got to be hard. Harrison Ford made a perfectly dispassionate Col. Graff. I loved the changes they made to Major Anderson; choosing Viola Davis for the part was perfect. And Ben Kingsly! At first I was worried after seeing promotional photos of his tattooed face. I worried about cultural appropriation and the like, though I knew the character Mazer Rackham was from New Zealand. But the simple fact that Kingsly used a spot-on Kiwi accent washed all those misgivings away. He was perhaps my favorite part.

I also very much enjoyed the film visually. The simulations were amazing. I wanted to see much more of those. The Battle Room was also quite awesome, though not as I had imagined. I imagined a stark white room. No views anywhere at Battle School. But I liked the visuals of space and earth. I wish they'd showed more battles there as well.

So I was disappointed that the film left out a lot of beloved details. It seemed rushed. But I did enjoy it. Let me know what you thought if you've seen it.

Hiking and shoes

So it's been awhile. I actually have written some things, just not here. My boyfriend has been studying math in order to possibly go back to school for another bachelor's in mechanical engineering. So while he plays with numbers, I've committed to playing with words. I haven't got much, but I do get down a little blurb of something in every now and then.

On Sunday we went on one of the longest non-14er hikes we've ever done. It was up Bergen Peak outside of Evergreen. It was a beautiful day and the trail wasn't very strenuous at all. The hike totaled over 10 miles.

Merrell trail glove over the open space

clash of seasons on the north face of the peak

Denver in the distance. A very clear day, comparatively.

Pike's Peak

Today I received some new minimal shoes I ordered last week. I am super excited about them. Obviously, everyone knows I'm a fan of minimal shoes. And also the color purple. And these are a combination, so they're perfect. I haven't taken them off since I opened the box. I cannot wait to try them out for running and parkour.

I was too lazy to find my actual camera, so you get some phone camera poor quality.

out to dry

So I've picked up a new hobby to go along with my continued desire to eat well. I got a food dehydrator. My mom used one of these for fruit when I was growing up and I decided I could do the same. I found one for half off (only $30!) The timing coincided with King Soopers having a sale on raspberries, so I tried my hand at drying a bunch. They didn't turn out perfectly, but they're preserved and they don't taste horrible, so it worked out. They're just very similar to cheese puffs in consistency. I also dried a bunch of bananas which was always a favorite from my childhood. My next venture is to try my hand at making jerky. Just need to find some good meat.

hooray for new projects.

raspberries set out to dry

finished bananas

The escape.

It's finally, officially Autumn! It was a great transition, on the night of the 12th, after work, my boyfriend and I left the city. Early that week, it was hot, like 90s hot. Starting on the 11th it had begun raining rather intensely. So we left. Took our long awaited trip to Glacier National Park. We left behind the recent heat and the deluge. We found refuge in the north and returned to a wonderful Colorado Fall. Here are some highlights from our trip. 

After driving out of Wales (er, Colorado) we slept in the car off the side of I25 in the middle of Wyoming. The next day we drove through the rest of Wyoming and essentially all of Montana. On Saturday we hiked around 9 miles (round trip) to Iceberg Lake. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

 Glacier National Park.

hiking to Iceberg Lake.

yes, my feet in the water with an iceberg.

seriously, a lake full of icebergs.

very fun-shaped icebergs. 

Because of the way the cliffs face, this spot hardly ever gets sun. Perhaps an hour or two in the height of summer. So the snow and ice melts very slowly and hangs around in the water. It's absolutely breathtakingly beautiful.

We also hiked to St. Mary's Falls. 

St. Mary's Falls

After driving Going-To-The-Sun Road over Logan Pass, we hiked through some western cedars up Avalanche Creek to Avalanche Lake.

Avalanche Creek

Avalanche Lake

After leaving the Park, we visited Flathead Lake. A lake famous for being crystal clear even when it gets really deep. We didn't get to go out on it, but even from the shore (which was just smooth stones, no mud) we could tell that they weren't lying to us about the clearness.

Flathead Lake.

Hungry Horse Reservoir at daybreak. One of our camping sites.

We left Montana and headed south back down through Grand Teton National Park. These are mountains that I love immensely. They are striking in their shape and beauty and the fact that they spring up out of nowhere as the tallest thing for many miles.

Our last morning was a foggy one, I ended up with a really neat shot:

It was an amazing trip. I want to go back and stay in that area for months. I want to backpack and get lost for days in Glacier. Alas, we left the animals here and had to return. Oh and the whole job thing.

Next year.

Today I really miss an old friend. We would talk for hours. Sometimes a mite awkwardly, but generally very agreeably. We discussed politics and religion, even though we differed on both. I know I've written about him before. I just miss him. And I want to tell him that I've gotten into Parkour. That I've been conditioning and occasionally training with some people. I want to have a long chat over a nice, dark beer. I want him to come with me as he usually did when I got a tattoo. (Not that I'm getting another any time soon.)

I know he is doing what he most wanted to do. He is being true to himself which is the most important thing a person can do. And I am doing it too. I just wish we were still in contact.

goodbye and hello

Last weekend I drove Martin to my parents' house for a final time. Gone are the days of four wheel drive, of being able to see into other cars. Gone is the tradition of Nissan Pathfinder. I now am the owner of a Toyota Corolla. It's pretty exciting to learn to drive something so small and very exciting to pay so much less for gas. But then there's the car payments. Ah well. One thing I couldn't forgo was the manual transmission. So that's a comfort.

I meant to take a last photo of the old Pathfinder. But alas, I forgot. I also meant to take some photos of the new car. I guess I'll get to those later.

This weekend we're taking it for an inaugural drive up to Rocky Mountain National Park. Hopefully it can handle that road.